So my plan all through my pregnancy was to pump my breast milk and then bottle feed Nolan. I've been nursing full time since he was born, but am now having some super problems with his latch. Suddenly my plan to pump and feed isn't working for me. I'm having a hard time accepting that maybe breastfeeding directly from my breast isn't the route for me. But, why after a week of fantastic latching is he having such problems. On top of latch issues, he isn't a very effective sucker. His suckle on my right breast is, well, frankly, it sucks! I don't know if it's me getting lazy, or him getting lazy, but its driving me crazy. I spent over an hour last night trying to get him to latch properly on the one side. To say it was frustrating is a gross understatement. I don't care what other people say, but to me this breastfeeding thing is not natural. It's bloody hard and in my experience doesn't really work out. With Spencer I had gaping oozing nipples that took weeks to heal. I bet if I had gone to the doctor about them I could have had stitches they were so bad. With Liam, he started off great and then just got lazy and started to have latch problems about 2 weeks into the game. Nolan, started off better than great and just in the past few days has completely crapped out. I am pumping a good deal of milk and he is getting a bottle of breast milk at night rather than the boob...it's faster and he goes to sleep better...so I shouldn't be having such horrible issues with not actually physically nursing him. Yet I am. I guess it just falls into the wanting what you can't have. The bottom line is that he needs to get the breast milk, and if it's through a bottle nipple rather than a breast nipple, than so be it. I guess I'm just thinking that if we're out and about (rarely happens) it'd be so much easier to just pop a boob in his mouth rather than dealing with finding somewhere to heat a bottle and give it to him.
Okay, so I have a new bitch. I just got off the phone with Medela Canada. You cannot order breast pump parts off their website. Stupid? YES. The very incompetent ESL woman I spoke with was so friggen hard to understand I had a hard time being civil with her. Seriously, is it that hard to have people who you can understand working your call center? It's over the phone, I can't read her lips and figure out what she's saying. I don't know how many times i had her repeat herself. Stupid. Anyway, to order 2 larger breast shields for my pump, shields that were 8 bucks a piece, I had to pay THIRTY dollars in shipping costs. Are you effing kidding me? Seriously. SERIOUSLY. She happily directed me to the 'closest store that sells medela parts' Three hours down the friggen highway. Yeah, no thanks lady, just send me the shields, and rob me blind while you're at it. Sound good? Good. Anyway, my new shields should be arriving in 3-4 business days, so that means I have a good week still of pumping with shields that are a little too small and end up dripping everywhere cause I can't fit my nipple in the way I need to. Lotsa fun.
I don't think breastfeeding, or anything related is right for me. But, I don't want to be buying formula so I'll persevere and get the job done. Like right now, need to pump or my boobs are going to explode. And that's a mess I'd rather not clean. Thankyouverymuch.
All right, done my bitching for the day.
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